‘Love is a behaviour, not a feeling’
Yesterday, Youth Opportunities Unlimited hosted its Annual Parenting Seminar in Kingston. Roughly 200 parents, children and professionals turned out to hear several speakers, including the Honourable Lady Allen (the Governor General’s wife).
This was the 13th year in a row and the event is endorsed by the Ministry of Education, the National Parent-Teacher Association, the Jamaica Teachers’ Association and the Jamaica Baptist Union. I live tweeted the entire event, which was an experience in itself, given the fact that all technology surrounding me seems to be exploding this week.
In any case, the event was full of useful information and the audience seemed fully emotionally and mentally invested in the topics. I will now take you through the day’s proceedings.
We opened with some powerful words from YOU’s Executive Director Mrs. Georgia Scott, who never fails to inspire. She discussed the importance of family and its role in nation-building, as well as some touching information about her close relationship with her son. Juvenne Montague Anderson of First Heritage Caribbean Credit Union (the event’s sponsor) then spoke about her company’s commitment to nation-building and to lend a hand to those who may fall through society’s cracks.
(A note: it is interesting to see how many events like this are adopting the mandate of Vision 2030, which is a national effort to make Jamaica the place of choice to live, work, raise families and do business. There was some concern, even a year ago when I moved here, that people are not catching on, and while this may be true in the general population, it seems to be at the tipping point for the corporate and civil society community.)
Then Lady Allen spoke about building a solid future for Jamaica through education. “A nation of parents will ultimately harm the community when they do not enable education values. That is inaction. We have to strive to do the best for our children,” she said.
After Lady Allen spoke, Diahann Gordon-Harrison of the Office of the Children’s Advocate delivered a shocking message. She spoke plainly about the abuse of children in terms both graphic and numeral, and she underlined the importance of parenting as the most important job in the world. “Parenting is in fact a serious responsibility. If every parent in Jamaica approached parenting as a job, we’d be better off as a nation,” she said. Children see far too much violence, she stated, then went on to list some eyebrow-raising statistics:
There are over 1,000 incidents of abuse per year in private homes.
261 fathers and stepfathers sexually abused their children last year.
The same number of mothers and stepmothers did the same.
Mrs. Gordon Harrison also highlighted the fact that abuse is not just sexual or physical. It is neglect and children in need of care and protection.
In 2012, there were 4,428 cases of neglect and 3,040 cases of children in need of care and protection. And these are just the cases that are reported.
After this sobering message, the crowd was treated to inspirational songs from Miss Allison Roberts and the national anthem was played by saxophonist Dwayne Foster. Mrs. Scott made sure to instruct people how to stand during the anthem (eyes straight ahead and arms by your side, no fidgeting) and she did not start until everyone conformed.
The main presentations were then heard, with Janet Brown of the University of West Indies Sociology Department speaking of the importance of protecting and communicating with our children. Children must learn from the earliest possible age that they are valued. This will build confidence and teach children skills that will enable them to navigate the world. In addition, parents should do a lot of self-reflection and feel free to share their experiences, both positive and negative with their children. And apologize if they make a mistake, which the crowd really liked. Brown also addressed bullying, saying that if children experience it at home, they will likely carry it over to the rest of their lives and possibly bully others.
Perhaps my favourite quote from Brown was that love is not just a feeling, it is an action, and that we must love others, even when (or especially when) we don’t feel able to. Brown was followed by Major Neil Lewis who discussed how we must protect our children and the community’s role in this. (My Internet cut out at this point, hence, no more Tweets). It was an interesting presentation in that it incorporated a Christian perspective.
After Major Lewis’ uplifting message, a drama troup called Eagle’s Christian Troop presented a disturbing piece about abuse. The evening was closed with another piece from saxophonist Dwayne Foster (who is a YOU mentee!).